Just For
by Lady Yuskreven
Summary: i just wanted to change the censor!Seifer thinks about his love for Squall during a Seed ball at garden. could become *Yaoi*.
1. Default Chapter

Just For…  
  
  
Hey guys! Ok so I don't know if I should continue the two other   
fanfics I'm working on. I think it's better to write one shot fic.   
Plus, i'm better in angst. Anyway. This story narrate a drunk   
Seifer's though about his only love.  
  
Title: Just For  
  
Author: Lady Yuskreven  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own neither the characters, nor the song.   
  
Warnings:   
  
Pairings: Seifer + Squall of course. (I wonder why we always put that   
Anyway.)  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
  
  
I want to take his eyes out  
Just for looking at you  
Yes I do  
And I want to take his hands off  
Just for touching you  
Yes I do  
  
  
He didn't know how many whisky he had already drink. His mind was too   
fuzzy to remember so that mean it was a lot. Far away from his seat,   
at the other side of the ball room, he could still discern the shape   
of Squall looking sadly at his ex-boyfriend.  
  
Rinoa and him had broken up soon after the Ultimecia thing because   
they weren't really meant for each other. She was a social butterfly,   
he was an anti-social ice prince. But the more plausible reason was   
that Squall was gay. Surprisingly, Rinoa accepted that well and they   
remained friend.  
  
  
And I want to rip his heart out  
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do, yes I do, yes I do  
  
  
  
But true friend are supposed to help each other if one have a   
problem, aren't they? Though, Squall had broke up with his last   
boyfriend only two days ago, and he was alone. Maybe it was due to   
the fact he could hide his feelings too well.  
  
Squall looked like as usual. But Seifer knew better. He could feel   
the sadness taking over the brunette. Another wound in his broken   
heart. Another shield put in place to cover it. Another step forward   
the icy queen and her promise of never being hurt again. Squall has   
always been too emotionally vulnerable. He never let it show, though.  
  
  
And I want to make him regret   
life since the day he met you  
Yes I do  
And I want to make him take back  
All that he took from you  
Yes I do  
  
  
It's very difficult to break the shields. The only way Seifer has   
ever found was to push him until he get so upset he'll fight back. In   
fact, it's the only way Squall would pay attention to him. How sad it   
was. He would like to help him now. He couldn't stand to see him so   
helpless. But Squall would ignore him, or worse, he'd reject him.   
  
Seifer couldn't stand rejection either. Rejected by his parents,   
rejected by his friend, he became an egoistical bully. If people   
rejected him, as well make them pay for it. `Oderint, dum metuant'.*   
The only one who didn't fit in his plan was Squall. Since the   
orphanage, he had been attracted by the little brunette. First, it   
was only friendship, then the years going by, it became love. A love   
not mutual, but love although.  
  
  
And I want to rip his heart out   
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do, yes I do, yes I do, yes I do, yes I do  
  
  
Some could even describe it as an impossible love, too. Cause it was   
it. Squall would be too hurt to let anyone come in his little world   
again, let alone Seifer of all people. Just this idea saddened the   
blond. Be so close to love, but never be able to have it. He would   
give everything for only a kiss, to taste those soft lips. Encircle   
this small waist and hold him in his arms. Caress the delicate   
features of his ethereal face.  
  
Maybe it's his punishment for all the crimes he had commit. Hyne.   
Will he be able to know happiness one day? Maybe it was better not   
to. He couldn't keep it. It would be so horrid. Hyne. I'd accept to   
go in hell for some Eden on earth in return…he though. Something else   
than hate. Just for once...  
  
  
Squall stood up and went out of the room. Seifer wondered why then   
turned toward Squall' s ex. The man was kissing, merely rapting   
another man in front of everyone. Just before disappearing, Seifer   
saw silent tears falling from the commander's eyes.   
  
It was the only thing he needed.  
  
  
  
And I want to rip his heart out  
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do, yes I do ,yes I do yes I do  
  
  
Seifer stood up, hand on hyperion, a bottle in the other. He came   
closer to the man who jerked away when the bottle kicked the side of   
his head. He fell on the floor, blood making a pool around him. For a   
moment, it seems that the time had stopped. All the people in the   
room were staring at them.   
  
Zell approached the blonde who turned toward him. He saw the anger   
raising in the cat green eyes and nodded. Without any ado, Seifer   
walked out of the ballroom. He knowed that it wouldn't help Squall.   
He'll may even be kicked out of the Garden. But, hell it felt good.  
  
He headed to his dorm, but then decided to go in the secret area. He   
needed some fresh air. He needed to think.   
  
Maybe he'll found Squall there...  
  
Maybe it was his chance...  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
The song `Just For' is by Nickelback.  
  
Will Seifer found Squall? What will be Squall reaction?   
Tell me if you think this one deserve a sequel!! ^_^  
  
GAME OVER  
OR  
CONTINUE


	2. One Step Closer

_Hi people! This is the new chapter of my story, following the fic "Just For". It's called "One step closer", since I use the song of the same name, by Linkin Park. Enjoy!_

_Author: Lady Yuskreven._

_Pairing: Seifer and Squall_

_Warning: use of bad words! Not too frequently, though.^_^_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Squaresoft does, or so I think, and I'm not that good in writing song soooooo the song not belong to me either. "^_^"_

*************************************************************************** 

**One step closer.**

Silence reigned on Balamb plains, slightly lighted by the moon. Only the wind playing with the grass gave some kind of life to the scene below. He could still hear some music coming from the ball, but everything other than that was peaceful. 

It was all he wanted. Some quiet place to think. He needed to be alone for now. 

It wasn't the fact Keith had just kissed Nida in front of Squall, making sure everyone would see them. Well, maybe it was a little. But he really needed to think. Thing were going too far quickly for him. Since the Ultimecia thing, Cid gave him the headmaster title, and as nobody had the quality required for it, he was still the commander of Balamb Garden. 

It was too much for him to bear, too much weight on his shoulders, too many people to lead and think about. He always had hated being in charge, to have to think about other people. Hell, he had enough with his own life, let alone the others! 

"Hum Squall?" 

Great. Who in hell would that be this time? Quistis, with her motherly attitude? Or Selphie? Or Zell, wondering if everything was fine but not trying to understand him 

_I can't take this anymore_

_I'm saying everything I said before_

_All those words they make no sense _

_I find bliss in ignorance_

_The less I heard the less you'll say_

_But you'll find that out anyway_

Nobody ever listened to what he'll say. They all had their opinion about him. About how strong he was, how good he was, how whatever he was. 

The truth was they got all wrong about him. He wasn't really strong, nor good. He was just acting as he was supposed to. As everyone expected him to. 

_Just like before_

"Squall? Can I talk to you?" 

_Everything you say to me_

_Takes me one step closer to the edge_

_And I'm about to break_

_I need a little room to breath_

_Cuz I'm one step closer to the edge _

_And I'm about to break_

Why people couldn't leave him alone? Only five minutes alone would be too much to ask?! Five little minutes alone. Five minute by himself, for himself. Will he ever be able to find some peace? 

Squall this, Squall that Why always asking him? He wasn't the centre of the world for Hyne'sake! He didn't have the universal knowledge! 

"So why asking me? I'd just want to be alone" Squall muttered. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Once for all, whatever you're gonna ask, keep it for you. I don't have the mind to think about other people's fucking problems." 

"Squall, I" 

He turned toward the door, plainly upset by the man's insistence. Lights coming from inside preventing him to see whom it was but he didn't mind. 

"Listen. If you want help, go ask somebody else. I" 

"Squall, I don't need your help. I just wanted to talk with you." 

_I find the answers aren't so clear_

_Wish I could find a way to disappear_

_All these thoughts they make no sense_

_I find bliss in ignorance_

_Nothing seems to go away_

_Over and over again_

"It's better to be important." Squall crossed his arms on his chest. The man didn't move, but seemed to think about a way to begin. He sighed before adding. 

"I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you." 

What? 

This man was it Keith? He was tall and wore a Seed uniform. He couldn't recognize him because of the lights. He seemed to be drunk. Maybe he wanted to apologize about leaving Squall. Maybe he was asking for a new chance. 

"Keith? Is that you? Listen. You and me, forget it. It's finish. I ain't gonna" 

The man sighed, taking a step forward Squall. Thank to the moonlight, Squall was able to see Seifer's face. For one moment, he found it was the most perfect face he'd ever seen. But there was something in his eyes, regret? Pain? 

Squall tried to stay as emotionless as possible, not showing any concern to the blonde. 

"What do you want, Almasy?" 

The blonde looked at the floor, sadness flashing on his face at the roughness of Squall's statement. 

"As I said before, I want to talk to you." 

"So go on." 

Squall saw anger rising in Seifer's eyes and mentally made a note to stop being so rude. Seifer was drunk, so more dangerous than usual. Push him too far wouldn't be good. Or maybe it would be. 

Squall was thinking about death a lot since all this shit happened. But he couldn't resolve himself to take off his life. 

[You love your friend so much 

That you want to die 

But you love them too much 

To hurt them with your death] 

Squall closed his eyes and sighed. What to do now He looked back at the tall man who was waiting for him to continue. What he did when he saw Squall's eyes staring at him. It didn't make him feel at ease, but Seifer felt the need to pour his heart out. 

"I I'm sorry for the things I've done to you. I" 

Oh god. Another "I'm sorry for everything" scene. Squall had already forgiven Seifer how many times now? He didn't remember. 

"Seifer. I've already forgiven you for that. You were under Ultimecia influence and dadada, we don't have to come back to this, it's finish so you don't have to beg my pardon anymore." 

The tall blonde smirked, an amused look on his face. 

"Squall. Do you even think about how you're talking? You're talking to me like the other talk to you. You don't even give me the chance to fully say what I want to say!" shouted seifer, whose anger continued to grow. "Stop assuming what I am and what I'm not and listen to me." 

_Just like before_

_Everything you say to me_

_Takes me one step closer to the edge_

_And I'm about to break_

_I need a little room to breath_

_Cuz I'm one step closer to the edge _

_And I'm about to break_

"What? Seifer, you're drunk" 

"Only for once, Squall, shut up and listen to me. I've been hiding this for too long and I need you to listen. Give me just five minute of your so precious time, okay?" 

Squall couldn't even reply to that, entirely silenced by Seifer's attitude. He always had a low baritone speaking like the arrogant bully he was. But tonight, it wasn't arrogance It was like a pleading? Seifer came closer, his eyes never leaving the floor. He took Squall's hand in his, then, much to Squall's surprise, he kissed him. 

Squall jolted back, eyes wide open, a hand over his mouth. Seifer only sighed, before looking at Squall straight in his grey eyes. 

"Wha What the hell was that?" was the only thing that came in the brunette's mind. 

"Squall. I I wanted to told you so many years ago I I love you, Squall. I always had, and always will. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I just wanted you to know it. I realised a long time ago that I had to tell you, before loosing you forever. But I never had the guts to do so." 

"So why now?" Too many thoughts were bustled in his mind. 

"Because I saw your pain when Keith pulled Nida into a kiss. I saw your tears, in and out, I felt a new shell pull around you. And all I wanted was to hold you, to reassure you, to make you forget all the pain you felt." 

Squall narrowed his eyes. Seifer bitted his lower lip; he was about to continue but Squall cut him off. 

"So that's why Are you that drunk? Or maybe that stupid? You really thought I couldn't see clearly in your little game? All you want is to fuck me, huh? Take advantage of the fact Keith just left me You're still the same bastard as always. You, Seifer Almasy, your only desire is to surpass me, to prove you're better than me. For a moment I though you've changed. But no. You're still this little boy who can't stand to be in second place! Now listen to me, Seifer. I don't have any time to waste with your fucking superiority complex, so now fuck off, okay?!" 

Seifer was taken aback. 

"Squall Wait it's not" 

"Shut up Almasy!!" 

_Shut up when I'm talkin' to you_

_Shut up, shut up, shut up_

Squall hurried himself toward the door, passing Seifer without glancing back at him. Why things always have to be like that? Why couldn't he be happy? There was always something turning wrong. What had he done to Hyne to merit such a life? 

_Shut up shut up shut up_

He walked to the garage where was waiting the Viper Laguna offered him for his birthday. He never found any use in that car, not like Keith who enjoyed driving it around, and mostly to the supermarket to spend Squall's money. 

But tonight was different. He needed to go far away from that place. 

_I'm about to break_

He opened the car's door and jump in it, opening the garage's door on the way. As he was turning the key, he heard Seifer calling for him. 

Too late Seifer. 

The car roared toward the exit when Seifer arrived. Deep in his mind, he knew something bad was going to happen. With no second thought, he jumped on the motorcycle next to him and followed the red car in the dark night. 

Tears were falling freely on Squall's cheeks. He didn't mind anymore. He didn't mind about anything anymore. His thoughts were turning on themselves, like an enormous whirlwind. Thoughts about his childhood, his life, the ones he put his trust in but who left him nonetheless 

_Just like before_

He thought of Seifer's speech again. Why does people always have to do that to him? Take advantage of his weakness? 

It hurt so much 

So why? 

_Everything you say to me_

_Takes me one step closer to the edge_

_And I'm about to break_

_I need a little room to breath_

_Cuz I'm one step closer to the edge _

_And I'm about to break_

The motorcycle was in his full speed, but it wasn't fast enough to Seifer's taste. He was still to far away from the car. He needed to reach it. He had to reach it before 

Not so far away before him, Seifer saw a burst of fire enlighten the night, followed by a loud explosion noise. Seifer stopped the motorcycle, eyes widening in shock looking at what used to be a beautiful new red Viper, crashed in a wall of Balamb city. Only one word was able to come out of his mouth. 

"SQUALL!!!" 

The end. 

*************************************************************************** 

_You did believed me? ^_^ Hope not cause I'd like to write the REAL end of this fic using "Eyes like yours (Ojos asi)" by Shakira. _

_But I leave you the choice! So_

**Game Over**

**-Or**

**Continue? **


End file.
